When Will Our Baby Sleep Through the Night?
“I just want a good night’s sleep…” is something I repeated to myself every night since I started parenting. Waking up suddenly to the cries filling the dark room, only to find that barely one or two hours have passed. ‘What am I doing wrong?’, ‘Other babies sleep well…’—the countless dawns were filled with self-blame and anxiety. These overwhelming feelings are likely familiar to every parent reading this. I vividly remember being a novice mom, exhausted by my baby’s unrest and night feedings. But there was indeed a way out of that endless tunnel. Today, for sleepless parents who might be in a similar position as I was, I want to share some special and warm newborn sleep training stories.
There Is No Right Answer to Sleep Training
What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘sleep training’? Perhaps you thought of harshly leaving the baby to cry alone? Many parents have similar misunderstandings. However, the newborn sleep training we’re talking about isn’t about strict discipline. It’s more about gently supporting the baby from the side to help them develop the ‘ability’ to fall asleep on their own. In other words, it’s a journey to creating healthy sleep habits. Just as every child’s temperament and characteristics differ, the speed and methods to establish sleep habits will naturally vary. Thus, rather than a ‘correct answer’, we need a ‘direction’. One parenting expert had this to say about a child’s sleep.
“Children feel most comforted by stable attitudes and consistent environments provided by their parents. The core of sleep training lies not in technique but in the warm trust of parents who believe in and wait for their child’s signals.”
Ultimately, what children need isn’t a perfect schedule but the trust and assurance that “Mom and Dad are here, so it’s okay.” It’s important to temporarily set aside impatience and progress step by step at your child’s pace.
The Most Important First Step, Sleep Ritual
So, how can one foster healthy sleep habits? It starts with the ‘sleep ritual’. A sleep ritual involves a consistent set of activities that signal to the child, “It’s almost time to sleep.” When predictable routines are repeated, the child learns what to expect next, naturally preparing to sleep while gaining psychological comfort.
1. Creating a Consistent Routine
The key is to conduct the sleep ritual at a similar time and in a similar order every day. For instance, setting a sequence like ‘Bath time – Lotion massage – Pajamas – Reading a storybook – Turn off the lights and sing a lullaby’ at 8 PM. This routine doesn’t have to be elaborate. Simple activities of about 15-20 minutes are sufficient. What’s important is maintaining this consistency ‘daily’.
2. Relaxing Body and Mind
The goal of the sleep ritual is to calmly relax the child’s body and mind. Ease tension with a warm bath, read a book softly, or sing a lullaby quietly. It’s best to avoid stimulating screens like TV or smartphones at least an hour before sleep. A parent’s calm voice and warm touch act more effectively than any sleep aid.
3. Creating a Sleep-Friendly Environment
Keep the child’s sleeping space dark, quiet, and comfortably cool. Blackout curtains can help secrete the sleep hormone melatonin, and a consistent temperature ensures the child can stay in a deep sleep without tossing and turning. Using soft white noise can also be beneficial, as sounds similar to the womb can provide comfort, helping the child fall asleep easily.
Questions Parents Most Want to Ask
While establishing sleep habits, you might encounter various questions and challenges. Here are some common questions that many parents ponder over.
Q. Should I pick my baby up if they cry?
It’s one of the toughest issues. Simply ignoring a crying baby isn’t the right way. However, immediately reacting every time the baby whines or fusses can take away the opportunity for the child to learn how to soothe themselves. Initially, observe for about 1-2 minutes to see if the baby can fall asleep independently. If the crying continues and intensifies, approach to pat their back or reassure them with a soft voice saying, “It’s okay, mom’s here.” The important thing is not ignoring the child’s needs but responding to them while trusting and waiting for the child to sleep on their own.
Q. When should we start?
Generally, when they begin to differentiate between day and night and their sleep patterns start setting in around 3-4 months is seen as the optimal time for newborn sleep training. However, this is merely an average standard and can vary depending on the child’s development pace or temperament. When your child has teething issues or sudden growth spurts, a flexible pause is needed during such challenging times. Start when the child seems relatively content, and parents feel ready.
Ultimately, while shaping sleep habits is for the child, it’s equally a time for us, the parents. Watching your child sleep peacefully through the night allows parents to finally gain complete rest. There’s no need to rush. Listen to the small signals your child gives off, encouraging them with kind eyes. Your gentle assurance that it’s okay not to be perfect becomes the world’s most comforting lullaby for the child. Parental love and patience make for the best sleep training.
Sleeping through the night isn’t a gift that suddenly arrives; it’s a process created together by the parent and child. Respecting the child’s signals while building a gentle routine is practical parenting wisdom. If you need more specific guidance on creating a sleep environment, MOM-i can help design the valuable night rhythm. For a detailed consultation, please apply for a consultation.