A Strong Bond with Your Child: All About Establishing Secure Attachment
‘Am I a good parent?’, ‘Does my child feel truly loved?’ While parenting, there are moments when you’re lost in such thoughts. Even though you give your best for your child every moment, you wonder about their feelings and sometimes feel anxious.
It’s okay. These are natural feelings every parent experiences at some point. Building a positive relationship with your child, or attachment formation, doesn’t require grand preparations. Warm responses to your child’s subtle cues and exchanging tender glances in everyday moments create a strong bond. Today, let’s talk about nurturing secure attachment, the robust foundation supporting your child throughout life.
Why is Attachment Important?
Attachment is the deep emotional bond a child forms with their primary caregiver. Especially forming from early infancy, this relationship lays the foundation for how the child perceives the world and forms relationships with others. The child uses the caregiver as a ‘safe base’ to explore the world, returning for comfort and support when facing difficulties, thus gaining the strength to move forward again.
The ideal form of this is secure attachment. Children with secure attachment carry an inner seed of positivity that says, ‘I am worthy of love, and the world is a trustworthy place.’ This significantly impacts the development of a child’s self-esteem, social skills, and problem-solving abilities. The courage to explore new environments and blend harmoniously with peers stems from a strong trust relationship with parents.
Everyday Warm Signals for Attachment Formation
Attachment formation is not a demanding task requiring special effort but a natural process embedded in daily life. Remember a few methods for bonding with your child.
‘Respond’ to Your Child’s Signals
When a child cries or babbles, these are precious signals sent to the parent. Responding and meeting the child’s needs with the heart saying, ‘What do you need?’, ‘Mommy (Daddy) is here’ is vital. When these experiences repeat, the child builds trust that their requests are respected and that the world responds to them. Simply smiling back at a newborn’s smile, often referred to as ‘reflex smile’, and gently replying to their clumsy babblings can make the child feel love.
Warm Physical Touch is the Best Language
A warm hug, gentle stroking, or an affectionate kiss are powerful expressions of saying “I love you.” Physical touch elicits positive emotional responses in both the child and parent, enhancing their bond. Try increasing moments of natural physical contact during daily routines, like softly massaging the tummy while changing diapers or patting their back before sleep. Through the parent’s warmth and touch, the child feels the safest protection in the world.
The Magic of Playing ‘Together’
For a child, play is life itself and the most enjoyable way to learn about the world and connect with parents. Spending playtime with your child further solidifies secure attachment.
Make Eye Contact and Laugh Together
The most important thing when playing with your child is to set aside your smartphone or other thoughts and fully focus on your child. Make eye contact, marvel at every little action they do, and laugh together. Watching a parent being wholly engrossed and enjoying time with them helps a child realize they are truly precious and entertaining. Simple interaction games like peek-a-boo or tickling can bring parents and children emotionally closer.
If you want a deeper warmth in your connection with your child, taking a little care of your state of mind as a parent can be a great support. Consult a MOM-i expert.
Please contact MOM-i for inquiries.
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